I suppose we have a lot of catching up to do.. don’t we? The lapse in replies over all of my social media is mainly due to my new boyfriend. I’ve been making the choice to put him, and our life first over Shae’s. I hope you all understand. Regardless of my personal life, I know I need to stay more on top of things. Try to help keep me motivated with things? Blog ideas help, as well.. I’ve written requests down from here and there, and I’ll give you the answers some of you have been waiting to hear for a while.
Hoophomer asked on March 7th:
“Because of your honest talk about the porn business, how there is a side to the porn industry that you don’t wish upon anyone, that it is a blessing and a curse…it made me kind of conflicted because it seems there is part of you that doesn’t like the business?”
That is true- there is a part of me that doesn’t like the business. Right now I absolutely love it, but I know its probably going to have a more so negative effect on the rest of my life. I enjoy what I do, yes, but to me.. this is a selfish indulge that I’m eventually, sooner rather than later, going to have to let go of. I’m lucky enough to only film four days a month. If I wouldn’t have been offered a contract, I wouldn’t have ever done porn. I think it takes too much of a toll on people physically and emotionally. Even with the bad aspects, I don’t think I’d go back and change my decision to embark upon this journey.. I’ve really come to love and embrace all of my experiences.
Dan asked on April 2nd:
“..after time in the industry how do you feel about men? Also would think all the random dudes (like me ;)) sending you all kinds of messages would get weird or just exhausting. How do you handle that?”
Honestly, I was already a little jaded when it came to men. I think thats why I don’t really have any emotional issues with being in the industry. Growing up I didn’t really have any male figures in my life that taught me the good in men, and I guess thats where it all started. From ages 13-16 I was mainly only with girls, and I really enjoyed and preferred that. Its almost as if I wanted to show them how they should be treated since I was never shown how women should be treated. I grew up watching my mother get shit on, guy after guy. I just thought that women deserved so much more. When I’m in a lesbian relationship I like to take care of the other person emotionally, physically, financially, etc. When I’m in a hetero relationship, I often find myself doing the same things, but it gets frustrating to me because in my head I feel like the guy is supposed to be doing those things for me. It usually ends up being an odd dynamic because I like to do those things for my partner, but only really a female partner.. but at the same time, I almost feel guilty when there are guys out there that do those things for me. Its confusing. Looks like I’m getting a little off topic here.. but I’m just letting my thoughts flow🙂. Many of you have asked me about my thoughts on relationships with men versus women, so you can get a little taste of that too! Once I got into dating men a little more, I too got shat on by them. Next came the massage business, which I really appreciate because I understand men so much better because of it. I’m now actually able to embrace some more qualities in men because of the industry. Please don’t take any of my words as a feminist, or putting men down. I’m simply sharing experiences in life that have caused me to think the way I do now. I couldn’t say whether I prefer relationships with men or women because they are so different.. and its a person by person basis, as well.
You know, I actually don’t find it that weird to receive messages from all sorts of random people. I have to say that it does get a little exhausting because there are so many that come in, and I have so many different social media platforms. I definitely have a lot of trouble keeping up with things, especially as my fan base grows. It also seems like I never actually get anything answered at the rate new messages etc come in!
Todd asked on April 15th:
“Is there any new female performer you would really like to work with. Any thoughts about a fetish or bdsm shoot at kink.com?”
I really don’t know many people in the industry aside from those that I have worked with. So, no- I can’t really say there is anyone that I can think of. If I had to choose my top five favourite women that I’ve worked with they’d be: Abigail Mac, Daisy Haze, India Summer, Shyla Jennings, and Veronica Rodriguez.
In my personal life, I do take a mild interest in BDSM. I think I’d definitely like to take it a little further in a controlled environment (porn) so I can discover more about my likes, dislikes, and sexuality in general.
Johnny asked on April 16th:
“I was wondering if you might share with us more about how people you encounter in your non-porn world react when they and if they find out about your work in the industry, I’m thinking people like your dentist/yoga group/chiro doc. Can you share with us how you square such obviously healthy choices for your body with being in this line of work where disease can be just beneath the surface with so many of the people who work with you.”
In general, I don’t necessarily talk about what I do with people I randomly cross paths with. Its funny because I recently saw a new gynecologist, and went for my yearly.. and I mean, I obviously have to inform them of what I do so that they can help me take extra precautions, and help me maintain my health.. but anyways, after I told him, he was surprised and intrigued. My gynecologist then proceeded to ask me random questions about the business, and my part in it. Keep in mind, this was before the exam.. so… chirp.. I felt.. a little.. awkward, to say the least. One of my dentists knows as well, and I find that I get a few more calls made personally by him to check on me than I ever have in the history of health care professionals.
Unfortunately my health is something that I risk every time I show up on set. I’m not really sure why I find the risk worth it.. I guess because for me, the positives of (me, personally) being in the industry currently out-number the negatives. With my general effort to stay healthy (although with my travel, I’ve been slacking a lot), it also helps make me less susceptible to get something because my body is able to fight things off a little better. I also believe that if I ever were to get something, my body wouldn’t allow it to thrive as much if I’m in good health. Wish me luck.
JD asked on April 28th:
“Would love to hear more about your stories from the spa and out call massages if you would like to share. Was there ever anything that shocked you while doing it like cock size or amount of cum? Ever given a man of the darker variety a happy ending?”
I’ll save spa stories for another day🙂 I could write about that all week!
You know the main thing that I found shocking was the fact that some men came (and came), and paid money for it! I was there thinking like, dude, you are sexy as fuck, rich, intelligent.. why are you here? You could go in public and take your pick! I do totally understand why they took the massage route, but still, sometimes it really made me wonder. Cock size has definitely surprised me many times. Lets just say.. what you expect isn’t always what you get. There was really only one guy that I can recall that surprised me with the amount of cum. I closed my eyes every time because it would just gush and gush, and it wasn’t visually pleasing – and thats coming from someone who likes watching!
Yes, my very first happy ending was given to someone of the darker variety!
Teelov2 asked on May 6th:
“I am just curious what made you start doing yoga and where did you get the motivation?”
Hmm.. its hard to remember. I want to say I first got interested in it when I was in middle school because I was also interesting in things like ice skating and ballet. I didn’t get more into it regularly until I was 16. I had a wonderful influence at that time who made me want to learn more about health, yoga, reflexology, eating well, etc. As soon as I’m settled into a place more permanently I’d like to do a yoga teacher training course!
Oldguinness asked on May 13th:
“Did not know if you would go into more detail on when you realized you were the bosses sexretary and what happen or was said on the day when it was your first time…..giving in as it were too the clients request for sex…curious if you have had multiple guys at once or sex with a total stranger that you thought yes, and if you ever have anal before porn or after porn..”
Well, when I was interviewed for the secretary job, the things he had me doing were very normal (to see if I could manage the position). However, just before I left he asked me to do one more task.. if I wanted to go ahead and earn a little cash, that is. So, that day, when I got the job, I nervously pranced around his office in my heels and panties.
Yes, I have had sex with massage clients before. But it wasn’t for money. It was because they just happened to turn me on either mentally or physically, and I couldn’t help myself. Unfortunately when I was younger there were also situations where… I suppose I just felt like I.. had to.
No, I have never had a one night stand with a random person! Crazy, huh?
I have tried anal with one person before porn. And you know what? I really didn’t enjoy it. He didn’t give me the best experience with it, so perhaps I will be able to enjoy it with someone else in the future!
Dan asked on May 18th:
“One question, if I may – I saw on a website somewhere that you are of Asian ethnicity. If true, which one in particular?”
Yes, it is true. I am Irish (mothers side) and Chinese (fathers side). There is a little more mix in there, but thats what I mainly am.
Magic Sperles asked on May 26th:
“My first question is – what was it like to transition to larger size penises? Second, do you ever fall in love with any of your co-stars?”
Its very uncomfortable when we first start having sex, even still. But as the scene progresses, the more comfortable we get with each other. It can sometimes be painful, especially for me, because I have a retroverted uterus.
No, I’ve never fallen in love with a co-star. Daisy Haze was my best friend before the industry, so that is a different story. I guess you could say that I fell in lust with Abigail Mac. I was also very surprised that Shyla Jennings was able to make me feel.. hmm, I don’t know how to describe it. I always cum in scenes, but she was very close (the only one in the industry) to making me have a full fledged orgasm.. like intense, intense. Johnny Sins is definitely my pick for favourite male talent.
Many other questions have been asked on twitter, Facebook, etc. But I will keep track of them for one of my next entries! I hope you all have been enjoying your holiday weekend!